life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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