i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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