If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
