I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
