i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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