someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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