I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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