"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I want a musical about memes.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
