Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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