but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
