I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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