It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
