i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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