hotel room ftw
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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