dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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