Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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