i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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