belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
