i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
