Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
