Need sex. Gaining weight.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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