his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
