ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
