Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
