great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
In America we eat man semen.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
