Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Found the puke drawer
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
