i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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