Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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