we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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