Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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