It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
