Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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