his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
