I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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