She is in my trunk
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
