three words: i give head
three words: not that well
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Are we still banned from the library?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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