so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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