Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
