During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize