im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
