Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
dude. I can hear the air.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
