there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
