Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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