I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize