there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My liver just had a heart attack.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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