you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
