So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
