16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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