your parents love me but you hate me
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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