Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
