we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
